New Mothers: 5 Minute Tips To Cope When Other Moms Compare

Author：佚名 Source：none Hits：113 UpdateTime：2008-10-18 23:33:22


You finally feel confident socializing after your baby is born. And you finally find someone you have a lot in common with. However, when you are trying to enjoy lunch or coffee, it seems all she can do is boast about what her baby is doing. Ultimately you will feel frustrated and a little insecure when this happens. It's hard to decide if your baby is not meeting a developmental stage, or if she is simply guilty of bragging.

Women adjust to motherhood in a variety of ways. You may have been sad or lonely, but your friend might react by being competitive. Many women leave a competitive career for motherhood, and many women feel insecure about their roles as mothers. Both can lead their feeling as if they need to affirm their success by informing you about how advanced their babies are.

In addition, you will get endless amounts of advice from every woman you encounter who has ever had a baby, much like you did when you were pregnant. Women you hardly know and strangers on the street will suddenly feel compelled to tell you both what to do with your baby, and what was happening with their babies at that stage.

Don't despair. All babies a different. Your baby might turn over later than other babies, but he may hold his head up sooner. She may smile sooner than she coos. Baby books and doctors simply give averages. When you're speaking with other new moms, however, it might seem like your baby isn't doing anything on time.

Survival Tip One: Certainly you should pay attention to developmental averages because they can tell you if there is something wrong with your baby (maybe she isn't smiling because she's constipated). But don't fret if your baby takes longer to reach a milestone. Remember that all babies develop at different rates. Enjoy your baby's current stage while it lasts.

Survival Tip Two: Meet overly competitive mothers with a sense of humor. They usually aren't trying to be unfriendly. Perhaps your ease of mind will alleviate their need to compare baby stages.

Survival Tip Three: Politely change the subject if you are speaking with anyone whose baby is grown and raised. Of course all of your aunts' babies walked at ten months, your mother-in-law potty trained her children before the age of one, and your boss's kids had teeth before they could sit up. Anything is possible in a memory. Don't feel pressured by this kind of advice.

Survival Tip Four: Don't enter in the competition. The sooner you allow the other new mom to win the competition, the sooner it will be over. Instead of bragging about what your child can do, end the conversation with a declaration of amazement at her baby's abilities. You know your baby is wonderful. You don't need to outdo another mom to prove it.

Survival Tip Five: Confront a friend if the habit becomes unbearable. Some new mothers don't realize they are engaging in this kind of behavior. Perhaps they have spent so much time with their babies that they don't have much to talk about. Sharing your concern with a friend will alleviate future frustration.